I am a firm believer that God exists and my relationship with Him is that of a Father and a stubborn, willful daughter. Often times I question the rules our church and there are days I feel like not attending service because I’m that stubborn of a child (Black Sheep if you will). I admit that I am no model citizen and more flawed than the potholes of our Main Street. Today, was one of those days I feel like my faith and patience are being tested.
Lately I have been good on not skipping Sunday service and it has been noted by the pastors in the past that my attendance record has been inactive. I am also a single woman that lives on my own in the city which means for them:
” RED ALERT! WOMAN PRONE TO THE SINS AND TEMPTATIONS OF THE WORLD”
Apparently because I live away from my family seems like a bad thing and it doesn’t help that I wasn’t as active in church socializing activities due to my busy schedule. Btw I go to a pretty strict and conservative church.
Today after Sunday service I was approached by one of the church clerics, an elderly gentleman who has taken interest in my attendance record (or lack of) and asked how I have been. I said good and he proceeded to ask if I have been attending regularly. I said yes except for the week/day that my car was broken into ( My car was vandalized and some suggested it may have been a personal prank on me)
Normally a person would ask you after such statement “Are you ok?” “How did that happen?” “Are you fine?” But the he went on ahead and told me
“This is a sign from God reminding you of your ways.”
He repeated the sentiment twice and again referring me about my attendance/way I live. I was taken back on his comment. I wouldhave rathered accepeted something in the lines of “This is a test from God/faith.” But he pretty much jumped into the ” Change your ways” quip.
I restrained myself from saying a snappy comment and excused myself. Later on, I spoke to another church member asking if my feeling offended of the man’s lack of tact was justifiable. She too pretty much said ” You must be offended because you are guilty.” And gave me advice to forgive the man and open my heart.
Though I know I am no model citizen and am not the vocal, passionate type about my faith. I explained to her, that I am putting this whole faith and God thing aside and the reason for my annoyance was because of his lack of tact and manners. And that is just a personal pet peeve for me. I dislike anything that is very unpolite or may come off as insensitive and was taught by my family to be respectful and considerate of others.
I felt the need to vent it out. The safe advice my friends tell me now is to shrug it off and to take it as a grain of salt. Perhaps I’m overthinking things or that the heat plus my PMSing is making me extremely sensitive. Maybe I was in the wrong. What do you think ?